What if you could be the person you’ve always wanted to be? That’s the question at the heart of Me, But Better, Olga Khazan’s fun and incredibly interesting exploration of personality transformation. After her book Weird, Khazan once again combines science, humour and personal stories to deliver a relatable and informative read.
Overview
Khazan uses herself as the guinea pig, spending a year changing key parts of her personality based on the Big Five Personality model: openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and emotional stability. From improv classes to networking events, she tries to “fake it until she makes it” to become the person she envisions.
With Khazan’s witty and vulnerable memoir-style writing and fascinating scientific insights, the book shows that personality traits are surprisingly changeable and that small, intentional actions can have a big impact on happiness, success and overall life.
Key Takeaways
1. Personality Can Change
Khazan proves that personality is not fixed. Drawing from science, she shows that traits like extroversion and conscientiousness can be developed through practical steps and repetition. Good news for anyone looking for personal growth.
2. Growth Happens Outside the Comfort Zone
One of the book’s main lessons is that transformation often happens outside our comfort zones. Khazan details how she stepped into new roles by doing things she was uncomfortable with (networking and meditation) and shows readers that growth often comes with discomfort and persistence.
3. Balance Between Values and Goals
Rather than focusing solely on rigid self-imposed goals, Khazan emphasises aligning personal development with core values. Her advice on when to persist and when to quit is particularly helpful for those navigating self-improvement in real life.
4. Sustainable Personal Development
The final chapter is about how to sustain growth over time. Importantly, Khazan reminds us that self-improvement isn’t about becoming a completely new person but about refining parts of yourself to live a more authentic life.
I listened to this on audiobook, and Khazan’s voice is a key part of the book’s success. Her honesty about her struggles and self-deprecating humour makes Me, But Better not only a fun read but also a very relatable one. The balance of scientific detail and personal stories keeps the book informative and entertaining. It feels less like a rigid self-help book and more like a chat with a friend who happens to be very intelligent in matters psychological.
I was skeptical when I started the book. Do I want to change my personality? But as I followed Khazan’s experiment, I changed my mind. Her argument isn’t about becoming a completely new person but about enhancing parts of yourself to live a more authentic life. More than that, it’s a window into understanding not only yourself but also the people around you.
Khazan combines humour, science and relatability to create a book that’s as practical as it is inspiring. In fact I did the Big Five Personality test almost immediately upon finishing it.
Whether you’re interested in personal transformation or want to understand human behaviour better, Me, But Better is a roadmap.
If you’re not willing to step out of your comfort zone, this book might just push you to.
Image from: https://olgakhazan.substack.com/p/me-but-better-is-out
